<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: I\u2019m Muriel Wilkins, and this is Coaching Real Leaders, part of the HBR podcast network. I\u2019m a long-time executive coach who works with highly successful leaders who\u2019ve hit a bump in the road. My job is to help them get over that bump by clarifying their goals and figuring out a way to reach them, so that hopefully they can lead with a little more ease. I typically work with clients over the course of several months, but on this show we have a one-time coaching meeting focusing on a specific leadership challenge they\u2019re facing.<\/p>\n
Today\u2019s guest is someone we\u2019ll call Gia to protect her confidentiality. She\u2019s had a career spanning multiple industries and continents. Her previous role marked a turning point in her career.<\/p>\n
GIA: It was the first time I was managing a large team, and I found myself. I found myself in many different ways. Initially, I found myself in a city that I absolutely loved, and I felt really embraced and welcomed. I really was welcomed by the team, and such a diverse team, which also I truly appreciate because it brings the right challenges for a leader.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Gia then pursued a new opportunity at a different organization. She wasn\u2019t sure she would get that job, but she did, and she feels really grateful that it\u2019s been the right fit for her.<\/p>\n
GIA: There\u2019s many times in my life that I got the job, and it was not the right fit for me. I can assure you that I was almost fired probably so many times in my career, and now I\u2019m so humbled by it and I\u2019m actually thankful. I feel that over time I became more intentional and also more aware of my strengths to apply to the right jobs. The last two ones were exactly that case. It was really intentional. I really, really wanted them and I had a feeling that it was the right challenge for me.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Gia has now been at the company for about a year.<\/p>\n
GIA: It\u2019s the first time that I am completely in love with my job. I absolutely love the company and the company culture especially, and my peers and the team I manage. I truly feel I manage it to deliver the impact and from the performance reviews that I received, even over deliver the impact that was expected. And I continuously feel challenged because when you manage a team that large, there\u2019s always something. And I feel like I have the right level of curiosity to go into all of these situations in a very humble way, try to understand them and where people are coming from and finding solutions.<\/p>\n
So, I\u2019m really thriving there and I love it. And I think it\u2019s important to say one more thing because I\u2019m from, I feel that it shows me also why sometimes it\u2019s so important to have all of that pain and happiness of being raised in a country like this with so many challenges because all of those challenges since you were born make you creative because you have to find solutions every day to survive. And that brings you this level of creativity in finding solutions. And I think because of that, I\u2019m thriving at what I do.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Gia is very content in her current situation and is thus facing an interesting challenge around how to plan her next steps when she\u2019s actually happy and comfortable where she is. I\u2019ll let her explain in her own words.<\/p>\n
GIA: I feel like I\u2019m at this point that I am in a very good position to really continue to be intentional to build my long-term plan in the company I\u2019m at. Of course, I\u2019m thinking a lot about it and I\u2019m about to have career growth conversations where I am, and I really want to pause and think of, okay, what does that look like for me? If I look into my career so far, it was not a stare that you go from manager, director, and now I think it\u2019s that moment that I can really intentionally think about that.<\/p>\n
Of course, it\u2019s not a short-term plan, but it\u2019s how can I continue to bring impact and not be scared of the next step and build that next step for myself and understand first what is it second, what to do about it and how to get there. And at the same time, there is always this fear in me. What if I do it and I\u2019m not good at it? Or what if I do it and I don\u2019t enjoy it as much as I\u2019m enjoying what I\u2019m doing now, but also what if I don\u2019t do it and I don\u2019t build this plan and I stop enjoying what I\u2019m doing now because it\u2019s going to be like two years, three years. And you get into that comfort zone. And I really am a person that I love being challenged and I love feeling curious about learning. And of course, at the same time, it\u2019s important to me the validation to feel that I\u2019m delivering results and that I\u2019m bringing impact as well.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: So let me just step back and make sure that I\u2019m hearing you fully. So, you\u2019re in a place where you\u2019re doing well, right? For all intents and purposes, and you\u2019re starting to think about how do you intentionally use, in your words, how do you intentionally think through what\u2019s next for you within this company?<\/p>\n
GIA: Exactly.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. So, it\u2019s not about what\u2019s next for you outside, but more like how can you create a plan for yourself that gives you longevity within the company? And a part of that is thinking through what the possible next step could be. How do you prepare for that next step? And then the third component is, but what if I get there and then I don\u2019t like it? Or what if I get there and then I can\u2019t do it? So, there\u2019s one side of it, but then the other side of it is, but if I stay in the position that I\u2019m in and not look for that next step, I know myself sooner or later, I\u2019m not going to feel challenged and then I\u2019ll be stuck here and that won\u2019t be comfortable.<\/p>\n
GIA: That is a perfect summary of it.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: All right. So, you mentioned that when I asked you what has changed over time, or you mentioned there were times you didn\u2019t get the right job or it didn\u2019t work out, but as you became more intentional, you were able to find roles like you\u2019re in today or companies like you\u2019re in today where the fit is way more aligned. So, when you think about your desire now to be intentional about your next step, and you think about when you have been intentional, how do you define intentionality for you? What does it look like when you\u2019re being intentional?<\/p>\n
GIA: It\u2019s about really taking a look inside and taking the time to listen to myself and to be honest with myself about again, my strengths and my shortcomings. Of course, investing time in it to work through it and really face it and making sure that the decision is really fought through that there are no guarantees. And sometimes we get lured with external things that don\u2019t matter. So, I think it\u2019s a stripping down to what is really important to me and that fits my values. And one thing to tell you that stopped mattering to me a while back. And of course, it does matter, but it\u2019s not the key component is money. For example, if I\u2019m happy where I am, I\u2019m not going to go somewhere else because they offer me more money because I already understood that this doesn\u2019t bring the happiness and the motivation to enjoy what you\u2019re doing. That\u2019s what intention means to me.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. So really honing in on what matters to you?<\/p>\n
GIA: Yeah.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. So, let\u2019s bring that into the equation. When we talk about your next step as you\u2019re defining a next step for yourself, what falls in that circle of what matters?<\/p>\n
GIA: Absolutely would need to continue to manage large teams, because that\u2019s what I\u2019m passionate about. And honestly, that\u2019s what I feel I can bring the most value. I wouldn\u2019t see myself as an individual contributor or managing a small team because those are the problems that I love to solve, is really how to make a team work together and have psychological safety and feel that they can grow and so on. So that is one thing.<\/p>\n
The second thing is definitely who is my manager, because another thing I\u2019ve learned in my career is that having a manager that also has a great, not only a manager, but a team. So, my people, the people who report into the same manager, I honestly feel like all of these teams, they ideally would complete each other in a way. And I do feel like in the interviewing process, it\u2019s always good to also understand the management style. And again, no guarantees because I could join a team and have that manager and six months in that person goes into their next career move. So, if I can always manage those variables, I think those are the most important things.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: So, what matters to you is managing a large team because of all the ingredients that go into that and that you feel like that\u2019s a little bit of your superpower where you get a lot of juice, and then also who your manager is, but also the larger team, maybe your peers, the interrelationships and interdependencies sound like they\u2019re important to you.<\/p>\n
GIA: Yes, exactly.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. So, what I hear from that is whatever you do next, you would like those to be the two main variables and ingredients.<\/p>\n
GIA: Exactly.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: So, help me understand, Gia, if we were to broaden this question and ask what matters to your company, how would you answer that? So, if your company was a person, what matters to the company?<\/p>\n
GIA: I genuinely feel that people matter to the company and that comes out with the culture of the company. And another thing that truly matters to the company is the impact we have on the planet and in people\u2019s lives and having real values and not something that we just put on.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: When you think about where you can optimize what matters for you and what matters for the company, what does that look like for you?<\/p>\n
GIA: I guess probably teams that are going through hard times that are going through change management, have been without a leader for a while or a bumpy road, things that really are in need of care and they didn\u2019t have leaders that were understanding of different cultures, etc. Very diverse teams, because I truly love the diverse aspect. There is a book called the Culture Map that I absolutely love everything that goes around this theme. And working in EMEA, you work with so many different cultures. So, I think that that\u2019s normally where I could probably bring the most impact and really bring a lot of psychological safety and safety.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: And so, with that, teams that are going through a hard time, change management, may have gone through a bumpy road, may have lacked leadership in the past, they\u2019re diverse in terms of culture is where you feel like you would be able to add value. And actually, what it sounds like, build on the strengths that you already have and just put them in a different situation. So, with that as the profile, when you think about what\u2019s next for you, what could that look like in terms of a next step? How do you formulate that in terms of what\u2019s next?<\/p>\n
GIA: I would love to have that answer. I believe that I would exclude already markets that teams are not that diverse or maybe even markets that then I would not exclude. If they are open to bringing diversity, I\u2019m in a very good place physically because you have all of these countries and all of these. It\u2019s the easiness to hire diverse. And I would definitely think about location. I\u2019m very open to moving and diverse. For me, definitely Asia is a part of my equation because that sparks my curiosity because it would be diverse for me, and I would learn a lot from it.<\/p>\n
And maybe I could bring a lot of this diversity that I would bring to the table. So, there are different bits of diversity in terms of large teams. I definitely can see many instances where I could manage larger teams than I\u2019m managing right now, and that could be the next row above where I am right now. But it could also be any role in a director level that is in the customer-facing kind of environment. So, whether it\u2019s customer service, whether it\u2019s sales, whether it\u2019s E-com, commercial, because I do enjoy people, I do enjoy customers, and I love working backwards from customers and listening to customers and always trying to build this bridge. So, in that sense, it can be as wide as operational roles or commercial roles.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: It sounds like you have some clarity on that what\u2019s next could look like as still maintaining the diversity aspect, but it might be in a different location or the composition might be different, but it\u2019s still diverse because that\u2019s a core value of yours in terms of what you want and what matters to you. And then the other piece is what\u2019s next? If we think about it again as a step is that it\u2019s a step up in terms of the size of the team. Scaling up would be the difference in the challenge or the mandate, if you will. And then with a larger team, the other part that might be a different variable than what you have now is it could be a larger team in the same area of focus that you have now. So, sort of same vertical if you will, or it\u2019s a larger team where you move to a different but still customer-facing area of the business.<\/p>\n
GIA: Exactly.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. So, what you\u2019re starting to see is there are different variations of what that next step could look like, which is great. Now you have choice.<\/p>\n
GIA: Sometimes choices are great, sometimes they\u2019re scary.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Yes. What makes it scary?<\/p>\n
GIA: What if I make the wrong choice and it doesn\u2019t work out? And I take that hit in the validation part of me that of course I need to work on. And it\u2019s like going to a restaurant and you have a really long menu and you\u2019re completely like, okay, what do I want to eat? And I know it\u2019s what we\u2019re doing here. Okay, let\u2019s go through blocks. Do you want to eat meat, fish? And then you go, and you start to trim down. But that\u2019s the scary part of having choices.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Yeah. I\u2019m curious for you, what does happen when you go to the restaurant, and you get the dish and it\u2019s not the dish you like? What do you do?<\/p>\n
GIA: Oh, well, it depends. I don\u2019t think we should.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: No, not we. I want to know what you do.<\/p>\n
GIA: I, I. Okay. That\u2019s a great one. Look, that\u2019s a tough question because I want to be mindful that we are in a world where food is so important, but in a scenario where I get to choose if the food is not good, I would rather order something else and eat something that I absolutely love because I think life is too short to not eat something you absolutely adore when you can. But also, being mindful that I wouldn\u2019t want to waste food, and again, I would probably feel that battle that I\u2019m telling you right now.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: I mean maybe there\u2019s an and there, right? So, let\u2019s play this out, because I find this so fascinating. I find it fascinating because when sometimes we go out to eat as a family and my partner will order a glass of wine and they give him a tasting. He\u2019s very picky about his wine and he doesn\u2019t like it. He\u2019s like, no, no, no, no. I\u2019ll send it back. And my kids are mortified that he sent the wine back and we\u2019re trying to explain to them, this is the beauty of the world. You have choice. But he only got a little bit of the wine. He didn\u2019t let them fill the whole glass before he said. So, I want to ask you, how do you translate this notion of being in the restaurant, ordering the dish, not liking the dish, and in your heart, knowing life is too short, I want to enjoy the dish and I want to be mindful of not wasting, how would you optimize both of those things?<\/p>\n
I know we\u2019re talking about restaurants, but I actually think there\u2019s something, how would optimize there? Yeah, how would you optimize both courts correcting the choice so that it aligns with what matters to you, which is a dish that you like, and making sure that it\u2019s not being wasted? What could you do in that situation?<\/p>\n
GIA: I can only speak about myself, right?<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Of course.<\/p>\n
GIA: I can give ideas to the restaurant and I can already imagine how to tie it to a job where you can do job rotation, et cetera. It\u2019s what your husband does. It\u2019s kind of like a job rotation of the wine. Oh, I\u2019m going to taste just a little bit. There is no waste. I\u2019m not committing to this wine yet. Then you don\u2019t feel guilty about it with the food, honestly, I think if it is really terrible, I\u2019m definitely not going to, if it\u2019s terrible, I mean to my taste, there is no problem with the restaurant and so on. I\u2019m probably going to not eat it but stick to it and leave the restaurant and eat something at home, which is not ideal. Depending on the event. If it\u2019s a one-time opportunity in that restaurant and it\u2019s a restaurant that I\u2019ve been wanting a table for so long, I will definitely order a second dish and just live with it. But ideally, I would have a small, the wine, this dish, we have a tiny taste of it.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: And you could also say, which is what I do sometimes when I\u2019m not sure, I\u2019m like, I warn the person bringing the food. I say, I\u2019m going to order this. If I don\u2019t like it, can I get something else? So, they agree before they even give me the dish, right? That\u2019s my coping mechanism. That\u2019s my coping mechanism. We all have our coping mechanism. Let\u2019s bring it back to work. So how does all this translate to work for you? Let\u2019s say you found the job that you thought was going to give you all the things, the larger team, same role or a different customer-facing role, diverse. But then you get there and it\u2019s like, ah, this isn\u2019t the dish that I thought I ordered. What would you do?<\/p>\n
GIA: Oh, wow. So I don\u2019t even have a chance to course correct before the dish. Let\u2019s do that.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: You could, but let\u2019s assume you took it.<\/p>\n
GIA: I would give it some time. I would give it some time because also what I\u2019ve learned is that time has an immense ability to make things clearer. So the first thing I would do is really give it some time and try to understand what are the parts of the dish that are not making me happy in this case of the job that are not making or doesn\u2019t feel like what I applied for and truly understand if over time those things are going to be a constant and they\u2019re always going to be there, and therefore I\u2019m always going to be unhappy about it.<\/p>\n
And I think at the end of the day, you have to be transparent about it when the time comes because it\u2019s only fair that you make a choice in a job that you\u2019ve never done before in a team that you\u2019ve never worked with before. And it may happen that it doesn\u2019t work out, and it may happen that it doesn\u2019t work out from my side, but it may not work out from the team\u2019s side, from the management\u2019s side. And I think it should be tied back to that psychological safety within the company of me knowing that I\u2019m valued and now we\u2019re going to find something else and we\u2019re going to find something that is going to be a good fit. And I\u2019m going to own my, I wouldn\u2019t even call it a mistake, but I would owe my choice or own it and course-correct it but face it and not stick with it just for the sake of.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Thank you for that because what is coming up for me as you\u2019re sharing this, Gia, is that in order for you to take any next step, which by the way you\u2019ve done before, you started off saying part of why you\u2019ve been able to move to different things and have jobs that didn\u2019t work out and then move to the ones, and they did work out, and you\u2019ve moved to a tremendous amount of different countries and probably what enables you to really work with diverse teams where things are not the same across is because of, as you put it, the way you grew up. It taught you to be resourceful, it taught you to be creative. And what creativity is to me is the ability to deal with the unknown. If things were known, we wouldn\u2019t have to create. But what I really appreciate about what you said when you say around you find what matters to you is creating psychological safety for others.<\/p>\n
What you\u2019re talking about now is creating psychological safety for yourself in taking these next steps. And one thing, I know there\u2019s a lot that is talked about when it comes to the term psychological safety, and one thing that I think is important is only you can understand how to create your own psychological safety. Part of it is what we also call, it\u2019s not necessarily knowing, hey, this is exactly what the plan is going to be. It\u2019s knowing that if you were to take that next step, if it goes well, you\u2019ll be able to handle it. And if it doesn\u2019t go as expected, even though you might not like it, you would be able to handle it. So let me pause there. How does that resonate with you?<\/p>\n
GIA: It totally resonates, and thank you for reminding me of that, that I\u2019ve done it before. I guess I had less to lose than I have now. Right? That\u2019s what makes this one really scary because I really enjoy where I am, but it\u2019s really good to be reminded that that\u2019s the thing. For me, the challenge is part of life, and the unknown is actually the beauty of it, and that\u2019s where I thrive. If there was no unknown, also no company probably would need me because that\u2019s where all my childhood and major years and everything else built this strength of, okay, it\u2019s a challenge. Let\u2019s unpack it and let\u2019s solve it.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Gia\u2019s challenge is around planning for her future career, even while happy and content in her current role, in part because of that contentment, one baseline to set with her in this coaching session was really articulating what she loved about her current role. Put another way. I asked her to define some of the values she holds most dearly in her work and how her role aligns with those values. That clarity can then help guide her along the path to whatever positions open up before her, but beyond the calculus of what an organization has to offer to make it worth her while.<\/p>\n
I also wanted to explore the risk and inherent fear that potentially lay behind this question she brought to the table, because ultimately to make a choice can feel like a risk because it means making a trade-off when what we want is to have it all. That risk might seem even riskier when you\u2019re jumping into the unknown from a comfortable position. Now that we\u2019ve spent some time with Gia gaining clarity on what she needs to feel fulfilled in a job and why she might be apprehensive about making a change, we can now move forward with a proactive plan for her next career move as opposed to a reactive one. But that may require a slight change in her perspective.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m curious, what if your approach to this was not grounded in what you have to lose, right? You said you have more to lose now. What if it was grounded in what you have to gain? What difference would that make for you?<\/p>\n
GIA: A total difference, because yeah, it\u2019s just shifting the focus, right? It\u2019s the cup half full, right? So yes, that\u2019s a great point. I think it\u2019s more important to really focus on what do I have to gain about the thing I lose? Let\u2019s face it. Maybe I also have to gain, because it\u2019s experience and if you face it the right way, it\u2019s always going to sum up to your repertoire or professional repertoire and personal repertoire. Yeah.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Yeah. And look, here\u2019s the truth of it. It\u2019s never a zero-sum game. You\u2019re one person, so it\u2019s not like you\u2019re either losing or you\u2019re gaining. We\u2019re always constantly operating in both. It\u2019s like you\u2019re breath. You don\u2019t just exhale, and you don\u2019t just inhale to live.<\/p>\n
GIA: I love it.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: You have to do both. I mean, try it. I just tried it. It doesn\u2019t work. I can\u2019t inhale for forever. At some point I\u2019ve got to exhale. And so, the capacity to be able to approach this next step is not from an either or. It\u2019s from a, as I look at the opportunities that are in front of me, I look at them as a, there are things I might gain and there are things that I might lose. What does the whole picture look like? And does that whole picture fit with what matters to me? Which is what you started with.<\/p>\n
GIA: That makes total sense.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay.<\/p>\n
GIA: Wow.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. So, I think you actually some clarity around what a next step could look like. So, what would you need to know or what would you need to answer for yourself in terms of how you move towards that next step?<\/p>\n
GIA: I guess that\u2019s the part where I have no clarity. There are definitely steps that are more straightforward. I have a mentor in the company that I absolutely adore and having career growth conversations with my direct manager and being very frank and honest about them and making sure that I have a succession plan. So, if I do leave in let\u2019s say one year time to another role, there is someone on the team that can step up, which it\u2019s always the best approach. So really preparing the foundation, I think it\u2019s one thing.<\/p>\n
And the other part of the foundation is once I know what it is, what are the strengths that I need to gain that I don\u2019t have yet to get there? And what does it look for me to get there? Because it\u2019s a very competitive universe in the sense that any role that I applied for, I would be competing with highly capable professionals because that\u2019s what happens when I\u2019m hiring for my team as well.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Right, right, right, right. What\u2019s interesting to me though is what you have outlined in terms of as you\u2019ve been intentional, which you defined intentionality in terms of really being able to hone in on what matters, and that is what you\u2019re going for, and that is why you\u2019ve figured out you\u2019ve been able to attain now positions and companies where there actually is very tight alignment for you. What\u2019s interesting to me is the way you articulated what a next step is very specific. It\u2019s very specific to what aligns with what you have articulated as your strengths.<\/p>\n
So, I think it would be a great question to ask if you shared with your mentor or others, hey, here\u2019s what I\u2019m thinking about as my next step, which is basically a scaling up of the type of team that I\u2019m working with, leveraging my strengths in working with a diverse team, potentially being in a different geography or customer facing role. Is there anything that I need to be doing differently now that would increase my probability of being able to attain that type of role?<\/p>\n
GIA: That\u2019s amazing.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: But I don\u2019t know. It sounds like you\u2019re leveraging strengths, like you\u2019re not coming from a place of deficit, but that\u2019s something that you should test out with others.<\/p>\n
GIA: Yes. That\u2019s amazing. I would love to have that power of communication you have, Muriel, come with me to the conversation.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: No. Oh, well, you tell me. Let\u2019s say, because you\u2019re about to sit down for career progression.<\/p>\n
GIA: Exactly.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Career conversations. So, tell me how could you frame what it is that you want? I don\u2019t know who you have that conversation with. Is it your mentor?<\/p>\n
GIA: My direct manager.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Your direct manager. Okay. So, I\u2019m the direct manager, blah, blah, blah. We get, what do you want to talk about today, Gia?<\/p>\n
GIA: I guess I would be very transparent. I\u2019m having all of these conversations and I feel like I\u2019m in a safe place, and I would love to just honestly talk about and very transparently talk about my next step in the company. I absolutely want to continue in the company, but I feel like I truly want to bring more impact. And at the same time, if I feel about what I need, I also need to know that what comes next is going to continue to challenge me and spark my curiosity. And when I think about it, and I think about being very intentional about it, if I have to say two main aspects of the next role would be to manage scale up a large team, so larger the team than the team that I manage now, and working with diverse teams and geography is not a problem.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m a person that I actually absolutely love facing these challenges of moving into different geographies. So, I guess first of all, knowing me and knowing my skills and knowing also my development areas and knowing the company for a longer time than I know, what is your view on that next step? What would you say it is and when do you think I would be ready for it? And also, what would I need to do to get there? What are the development areas that you still see for me in getting there?<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: You got it. You got it. I think the only, if I may, if I could give you a little suggestion is break those questions up. Let him answer the first, because it\u2019d be interesting to hear his perspective. Does he also think that\u2019s the right next? It does he have some other things around what the next move could be? And then it\u2019s like, oh, so when you look at where I am now, what experiences do you think I would need to gain in the next year or two or however long it takes me to be able to do that? Let him share. What do you think that timing is? So, scaffold it out, stagger it out so that you give yourself the opportunity to get all of the responses that you need to help inform how you best position yourself.<\/p>\n
GIA: That makes total sense.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay. So now let\u2019s imagine you have this conversation, and you have more information. What would be the one ask that you would have to your manager that would help you on this intentionality around what\u2019s next and moving towards what\u2019s next?<\/p>\n
GIA: One ask. I only have one.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Let\u2019s start with one.<\/p>\n
GIA: Okay, good. I want choices. You sold me choices. I guess support and support can come in many different ways, but depending on what that next step is, let\u2019s say, oh, I think a geography move would make a lot of sense. And the APAC team absolutely would take so much value of having someone with your strengths, et cetera. Let\u2019s find synergy for me to go to APAC and meet the team and spend some time with the team there and still deliver to my current job, but also support me into selling myself and getting to know the right people and all of this support I\u2019ve been having in terms of exposure to leadership, presenting and having a mentor. So, I think it\u2019s this continuous support, again, very intentional because once we know what that next step looks like, we can be even more intentional about that support. So, it\u2019s like this continuous support, and the difference will be it\u2019s going to be more laser focused.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Okay, so there you go. You have your ask, right? And you can define what, as you said, what the support is that you want and need in order to keep it moving, right? Keep this needle moving versus letting him figure it out. And he might have some ideas. You want to listen to that, and you want to also be ready to say, Hey, based on what you\u2019ve shared, here are the two or three things where I could use support and what it could look like. Could you do that? And then you follow up, right?<\/p>\n
GIA: Yes.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: It\u2019s very important to define how people can support you because the way most people think that they should support you may not necessarily be the way you want support. So, make sure that you have that ready.<\/p>\n
GIA: Absolutely. Absolutely. And it\u2019s not something we should take for granted. You may get lost in translation, and what I find is that really framing it and being very specific about things makes it a lot easier to align in expectations, but at the same time, it\u2019s not always we do this double-checking communication. Am I being very clear here? So, thank you for that.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Yeah, absolutely. Okay. You have laid out the whole process for yourself. Now you just got to go find it. So, tell me, I think we can hone in towards the end here. What do you feel now that you didn\u2019t necessarily have your arms wrapped around when you walked into this conversation?<\/p>\n
GIA: I guess my main outcome from this conversation is look at what do I have to gain in the next step. And then from there, what I know now that I didn\u2019t know before we talked is it was all here. The whole growth conversation, it was kind of here, but it was not organized, and I was not asking myself the right questions. You did, and you guided me through it, and now I understand that this is how I frame what matters to me, to myself, and from there, it\u2019s easier for me to really understand, okay, what are the possible next steps? And to have this conversation with my manager and really frame it. This is where my mind\u2019s at and ask question by question to really understand also his opinion and where his mind is at, and then from there have a clear ask of what is the support that I need then to get there. So, I guess it\u2019s the structure and the positivity of thinking of the gains and not the losses.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Yeah. So, what I\u2019m going to leave you with is in the future when you\u2019re facing choices, whether it\u2019s a choice of next step or choice of restaurant meal, ask yourself the same questions. You have the capacity to do that. You\u2019ve done it through your ways of being intentional. You\u2019re just doing it in a different way, but ask yourself, what do I have to gain and what do I have to lose? What choices are in front of me? What about this? Have I done before that? It may look different, but it\u2019s actually quite similar. What would I need to believe to actually go through with this and focus on the gain rather than the loss? Ask yourself the questions, right? And that will then build your capacity. The challenges don\u2019t go away, but your capacity to deal with them gets stronger and stronger every time you ask yourself those questions, okay?<\/p>\n
GIA: That\u2019s perfect. I think I\u2019m going to order much better food. Thank you so much, Muriel. It\u2019s been great.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: Of course, thank you. As you grow into your career and become more and more intentional in the roles you take, making a change can feel riskier and riskier. Why go from something you know and love into something unknown? A really helpful exercise in being able to thrive in that unknown is to take stock of what is most valuable to you and your work, your non-negotiables, no matter what title or company you end up with.<\/p>\n
After we sorted out those priorities with Gia, we were able to examine a bit more about what exactly she was fearful of and how we could potentially reframe her concerns. Finally, once she had these guideposts, she was able to quickly determine actionable next steps in her work to help her get to where she wanted to go. Even if you are content, there\u2019s always an opportunity for growth. Whether you\u2019re itching to get to the next rung of the ladder or happy in a long-term job, reframing how you think about change can be really helpful. That\u2019s it for this episode of Coaching Real Leaders. Next time \u2026<\/p>\n
JOHN: When it comes down to C-suites or boards, the insecurity will come out and I will start this internal loop of second guessing in deciding when to speak or what to say, and then I end up either saying nothing or worse kind of saying something I\u2019m not very proud of.<\/p>\n
MURIEL WILKINS: If you love the conversations we have here on Coaching Real Leaders, you\u2019ll definitely want to check out my new book, Leadership Unblocked: Breakthrough the Beliefs That Limit Your Potential. You can order it now wherever you get your books. And if today\u2019s episode resonated with you, I\u2019d be so grateful if you\u2019d subscribe to the show, share it with a friend, or leave a five-star review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. It\u2019s one of the best ways to help others find the show.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d also love to stay connected. You can always find me at MurielWilkins.com, on LinkedIn at Muriel Wilkins, and on Instagram @CoachMurielWilkins. A big thank you to my producer, Mary Dooe, sound editor Nick Crnko, music composer Brian Campbell, my Chief of Staff, Emily Sofa, and the entire team at HBR. Much gratitude to the leaders who join me in these coaching conversations, and to you, our listeners who share in their journeys. From the HBR Podcast Network, I\u2019m Muriel Wilkins. Until next time, be well.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
#Plan #Role #Happy<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
MURIEL WILKINS: I\u2019m Muriel Wilkins, and this is Coaching Real Leaders, part of the HBR podcast network. I\u2019m a long-time executive coach who works with highly successful leaders who\u2019ve hit a bump in the road. My job is to help them get over that bump by clarifying their goals and figuring out a way to […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3286,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-management"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n